Understanding Sloths

Proverbs 13:4-  The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied

So when I was thinking about what to write about today, I had a flash back to about a year ago.  While working at a different job, I had two employees tell me that they deserved my full time status more than I did.  At that moment, my mouth was on the floor!  I was stunned.  This statement would have made sense if they worked as hard as me, but most of the time those workers would show up to work and expect a paycheck simply for punching in and having a pulse.  Here in lies the problem with society today:  we are breeding entitled sloths.

The main point of me writing today is not to condemn people for their actions, but to bring awareness because if we do not get this under control, our society could very much end up collapsing due to laziness. Bold statement?  Look at one of the main reasons that many empires fall: pleasure seeking.

Also, I believe that as Christians we are called to work hard and to set an example.  So instead of demanding that society lowers their standard to glorify mediocrity, I hope that we would rise to the challenges of life.

Almost everything that is good in life requires effort and is earned, whether it is a job, a marriage, an education, an inheritance, you name it, those things require hard work, maintenance, and a lot of respect/gratitude.  One of the most dangerous things is when people are simply handed something without having to work for it because many times they do not respect the amount of work that was put into what they are receiving, and often times that “gift” is squandered or abused.

So are sloths lazy all of the time?  NO!  Here are some examples of sloth behavior:

-They are usually prompt, attentive, and diligent when they are doing something that is comforting

-When the word “free” is involved, they move faster than the average sloth... which can be mind blowing knowing their normal speed!

-They definitely want to get their paycheck (usually they are quite prompt and annoying about it), but usually do not do the work to warrant that pay check

-They become aggressive or manipulative when you threaten to take away what want

-They’d rather complain than fix something, or ignore an issue because it is too “uncomfortable”

So where does this come from?

Obsession with Pleasure/Comfort:  If they get what they want without consequence, they will continue to be lazy.  If you threaten to take away the comfort, you might get an angry sloth because you are actually requiring them to work… imagine that!

My response:  Does God care about our comfort?  Yes, to an extent.  The truth is that our growth occurs when we are challenged, and he is more concerned about our character than our comfort.  Also, if he is just responsible for making us comfortable, then what have we reduced God to?  Food for thought.

Entitlement:  One phrase that I desperately want removed from the English language is “I deserve”… because my usual answer is, “no, you don’t.”  Those two words can get us into a whole world of trouble.  Whether it is the created expectations, the excuse for our poor behavior, or acting like a spoiled child, entitlement only hurts in the long run.

My response:  Give thanks and respect that which has been given to us. I could complain about my misfortunes (if you know me you know what I am talking about) and say, “I DESERVE THAT BECAUSE OF _______!” or I can work through my pain and continue to look for opportunities.  I realize that God has been shaping my character through the odd jobs, medical problems, and challenging life situations.

Addictions:  I don't have a lot of scientific evidence for this, but I have noticed in my counseling

studies and my interactions with people who struggle with addictions generally struggle with slothfulness (note: take away an addicts comfort: you find an angry sloth).  So here are a few group

of people that I have noticed:

-Most people that I have met that smoke weed generally have no motor and expect things to be handed to them.

-Most people that spend too much time playing computer games have a low motor and usually substitute human interaction with online activities.

-Most people I know that have porn addictions substitute that for human interactions since it requires less maintenance and interaction than a human relationship.

-People with shopping addictions and hording problems tend to use it to fill voids in their life that people and God are supposed to fill.

My response:  Remember where those things belong.  You are a powerful person that can exert power over those things.  God gave us a spirit of power and self control (2 Tim 1:7), remember that and don’t let those things control your life.  I have found that addictions not only damage ourselves (though most deny that fact), but also our relationship with others and with God (also frequently denied). 

Low Self-Esteem:  Why try if you are going to fail?  That’s what low self-esteem reiterates.  When somebody does not feel capable of succeeding, they use unhealthy means to evaluate their success.  In unhealthy relationships, instead of raising their standard, sloths will usually try to manipulate or abuse their partner to get them to lower their standard.

My response:  No one wants to feel like they are settling in a relationship.  Therefore, if you ever want a healthy relationship, slothful qualities such as victim mentality, manipulation, and protecting your comfort will not promote that.  Even though people say opposites attract, its true that birds of a feather flock together.  Therefore, healthy people find other healthy people.   If we are fearfully and wonderfully made, then we must continue to develop and take pride in that!

So now that we understand this, how do we go about making change?  Because quite honestly, if I am perfectly content where I am and I don't care if I am disappointing or hurting others around me, what can motivate me to change?

-I need to stop and think about how my inaction is hurting and disappointing people around me as well as myself

-I need to take ownership of lost time and opportunities and be concerted about embracing new opportunities

-Realize that I am not getting any younger, and that I am missing out on valuable friendships, relationships, jobs, ministries, etc.

-Make a bold step, create minor successes so that I can experience success because success is just as addictive as slothfulness, but it is much healthier and rewarding

-Start setting bigger goals once the minor ones are achieved because life without goals becomes stagnant and depressing

So these are just a few suggestions that I have found that really work.  You might need this or you might need some insight to help a friend or family member... but know that an inactive life is a life not lived.  God calls us to be engaged and use our gifts, so I hope that you do just that and that you be diligent so that you can live a full and fulfilled life.  

Thoughts on Wrath

John 13:35-  "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Wrath is the direct enemy of love.  Whether it is blind wrath or laser-focused wrath, it is extreme anger that thrives on desolation.  Unfortunately, I have met one too many people in the past few years or so that have befriended bitterness and nurtured the blossoming flower of wrath.  Since the individuals allowed it to grow without uprooting it, I found myself on the receiving end of wrath one too many times for my liking.

There were many times in the past few years in which I felt that I was in combat mode against wrath.  I can’t say names or groups of people for obvious reasons, but I felt like I was on the defense more times than not for the past few months.  Whether it was attack from unsuspecting people, a front on attack that I was expecting from a frequent source, or reading negative Facebook posts, I wondered when I was going to hear something positive.

Sometimes when there is too much negativity in my life, I shut down my Facebook account because it closes one door for wrath to seep in and I can just focus on the people in front of me.  Reading posts with no intention of dialogue gets tiresome because the main intent is to shame, denigrate, or divide people without giving room for healing or understanding.   It is often times anger that has no intention of peace, or stating a problem without providing a solution.   I am not trying to put my head in the sand, but instead exercise control over toxic intake.  There are other ways to get a point across.

Does this mean that we should ignore these issues?  No.  They exist.  And you know what it is rooted in?  Hurt.  Rejection.  Bitterness.  Frustration.  It is that left over food that is left in the cold damp refrigerator and allowed to mold over.  The only way to deal with it is to reach in, pull it out, and face it.  And we must face it with… guess what?  Love.  No agenda.  No expectations.  Just love.

This is why I stopped deleting my page.  There are times where I ask for prayer on my page, but my general intent for posting is to spread good will… be it something cool that I did, something I am looking forward to, a verse that spoke to me, a stupid picture of me, a picture of my cats that makes me happy, or to make people laugh about a ridiculous situation that I got myself into.  I want people to go away from my page feeling good.  I want to spread hope and joy.  If I close my account, that means that I have walked away and am unable to try to spread hope, joy, love, or other Godly attributes.  If someone smiles after reading a post, thats a victory.  If someone "likes" my comment because it made them think more about God... thats a victory.  Victories that happened because I allowed God to inspire me to post something on my page that is active.

There is no time or space for wrath, or the jealousy, anger, bitterness, divisiveness, or segregation that goes along with it.  It eats everything it comes into contact with, much like acid.  This is why I want to be an agent of change.  I want to be able to love people well and inspire others to love people well.  It starts with ourselves, and then it overflows.  This is why I am making the choice today and every day to do my best to be a fountainhead of God, and seek him and his love.  I don't like the way wrath burns inside of me because my body was not made to contain it, and when I let it out on others, it has the same acidic effect... therefore it is not worth sharing.  This why I want nothing to do with it.

You might think, “Well, you are super naïve.”  No I am not.  If you know my story, and you know how I had to overcome the stain of other people’s wrath, it gives me joy to be able to recognize that it is possible and obtainable.  And for that, I am not bitter at God for allowing those things to happen to me, instead I give him praise for allowing me to conquer and to help others out of those same dungeons.

In conclusion, I want to challenge people to balance the leger.  In relationships, there are supposed to be a maximum of one negative memory to every five good memories for a healthy relationship to thrive.   How often is that true in life? If we looked at Facebook this way, how many negative posts are there compared to positive posts?  It would be an interesting survey.  So lets balance that.  In our own lives, lets try to balance the positive to negative ratio in our lives.  Lets break the hold of wrath and divorce it from our souls.

Targets and Goal Setting

As I was riding a bike at the gym today, I noticed a pattern.  As I watched my time decrease and my mileage increase, I was very focused and pedaling faster.  When I was looking at the TV, I found that my RPMs and speed decreased dramatically.  Why might you say?  Because I was not focused!

Then I realized that my life is very much that way.  If I don't have anything to aim for or I get distracted from my goal, I tend to slow down and "drift" a little bit.  

Do you ever find yourself doing that as well?  I am definitely a goal setter, whether it is riding a bike at the gym, getting good grades, doing my job well, I find that I need goals or else I drift.

The verse that comes to mind is Proverbs 21:5-  the plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely the hands of haste leads to poverty.

So today, I am continuing to be committed to being diligent and goal setting.  But also, if you are terrible at goal setting, let me show you what I do... it might help you out!  When I set goals, I tend to write them out according to areas of my life.  

Goals:

Spiritual-  Read scripture every day.  This past summer I read a chapter a day and I read a devotion as well.  I have gotten away from that due to the flurry of activity in my life, but I am adding that to my list of areas that I am going to improve upon.

Emotional-  Make sure that I am getting enough sleep and not overloading myself.  Again, due to life being a bit crazy, I am tending to fail at both of these.  I do have my alarm set for 10pm, so I am doing my best to drop what I am doing and get ready for bed when the alarm goes off.  I am also making sure that I get to the gym and pool more because that is a great stress reliever.

Relational-  My true goal is to find healthy friendships.  I am in friend collection mode, and trying to surround myself with healthy friendships.  It is important to find people that help push you forward in your faith, encourage you, and love you well.  Being an extrovert, I do my best to make time for friends as well.

Educational-  I currently put the breaks on education until I feel comfortable with my job.  I do not want too much pressure.  There are two educational goals I am considering.  The first is getting my certificate to be a personal trainer, the second is to get my counseling license.  I am weighing which will be most beneficial for me in the future, because there is a strong possibility that those could be a part time job next year.

Vocational-  Much of my energy right now is concentrated in on being the best teacher possible.  This summer I am going to concentrate a lot on improving my lesson plans and making tweaks here and there. Being the best teacher possible is my short term goal.  Concerning long term goals though, I touched base with a friend this week about working part time doing counseling with her next year.  It looks like a very strong possibility, but I am going to need to continue to pursue that to make sure that it will work out.  I am also doing my best to be involved with church, whether it is the worship band or helping with various ministries.

Physical-  Getting to the gym 3 times a week is an easy goal for me.  I wish I could do more, but it is not always practical.  None the less, I need to take care of myself.  Also, it is a cheap hobby that reaps positive results =) I wish I could target a weight or something like that, but considering that I am way under weight, creating a routine and sticking to it is my goal.

Financial-  This is a tough one.  Debt is one thing that I hate, and I get really excited as I watch the numbers decrease!  That being said, I set up a budget, and I am going to stick to it.  Any money that I do not use in my budget, I push to savings for an emergency.  The important thing to do is stay calm and know that the debt will go away if i stay consistent.  I am currently targeting my smallest debts, and then once those are paid off, I am moving on to the bigger ones and allocating the money from the paid off small debt towards the bigger debts.

So thats goal setting.  If you aren't good at goal setting, you aren't the only one!  But I would encourage you to do it though, because it helps you focus and experience victory in areas of your life that have been defeating you.  It has been a huge help to me, and I hope that it will help you too.

Fear

Fear?  What is fear?

To start, I think that it would be better to ask, "how does fear appear in our lives?"

Because when you think about it, fear makes people do crazy things...

Fear of being hurt-  Keeps you from being close, because if you are never close to anyone, you will never get hurt or experience betrayal.

Fear of intimacy-  Keeps you locked out in the cold, and you can never miss what you never had.

Fear of loss-  Creates a death grip on what you have, because if you never let go, it might get broken, but it will still be yours and thats what matter... not that it is broken.

Fear of brokenness-  It creates walls, and no one will ever get to know you, because if no one ever got to know you, they will never know your weaknesses, and you can be safe and powerful.

Fear of being powerless-  If you never have weakness, you will never lose anyone or anything.   

Fear of poverty-  Makes you obsess over money, and the love (obsession) is the root of all evil, but I can say that money is a cheap lover that takes everything, and then abandons the person.

Fear of abandonment-  Makes you do crazy things to keep those that you want to possess, but you have to remember that nothing is ours to possess.

Fear of failure-  Stops you from trying to succeed, because if you never try to succeed, you will never fail.  But at the end of our days, will we say that we avoided all success because we avoided all failure?

That is where I stand today.  Knowing that I have done my best to take on whatever I feel God calls me to do.  I probably got some of his messages wrong, or conversely, he allowed me to experience failure to grow my character.  I may never know on this side of heaven, but at least I know that I stand dauntless again the undertow of life.

I admit, there are days where I don't want to get out of bed.  Whether it is my health, stress, or comfort, I would rather stay in.  Sometimes, fear creeps in.  Whether it is the unknown, of failure, of health issues, or other such things, I would rather not take on the day.  But I have to look at those things right in their eyes and tell them to get out of my way.  Those things of Satan belong behind me, not in front of me blocking my view.  There is too much good to do today that I don't need him stopping me.

It might come back, as they like to do, and nag me at a weak point.  But instead of letting that pest nag me about my failure, I let God remind me of my successes (I also keep a success box and I save letters and emails to remind me of that at times).  I also have to remind myself of who I am in Christ, not what I am at the school.  Or what I am at the church.  Or more so... I remind myself so that I don't focus on what I am NOT.  Looking at what we are not stokes the fire of fear... so instead, I look at what I am:  a fearfully and wonderfully made child of God.

I am saying this not because I think that I am great and that I am above fear, but it is because I am working towards conquering fear.  As someone who was taught to fear at a young age, I have been able to break those chains and take on fear as I see it.

1 John 4:8 says that there is no fear in love, and that perfect love drives out fear.  That agape, that perfect Godly love, is from Christ.  Not manufactured by myself, but instead, it is something that flows from him and then flows from our hearts.  

When I understood that, I looked at fear driven people differently.  They are more prone to jealousy, rage, greed, vanity, and other deadly life choices.  Their actions make me want their lives less, not want it more.  When I hear their criticism, anger, or trickery, I see it as a hurting person that is trying to hurt me, control me, manipulate me for their own gain.  I don't see it as a threat, but as wound that they need to heal.

So I want to leave you with that today.  When we feel pain, that is an indicator that there is something wrong in the body.  Fear is the same way.  The "pain" might be different in each case, but it is there.  It is letting us know that there is a wound that needs to be healed.  If you are feeling that pain today, I hope that you can seek God's healing in those areas and be filled with his love for your own good and so that you may bless others as well.

But if you don't feel the grip of fear today, pay attention to those around you.  Listening to their heart and hearing their fears will give you a good in-road to praying for them or practically helping them.  

But wherever you are with this, I want you to join me in trying to live a fearless life.  It might not be easy, it might not be glamorous... but it is the good life and the "God-life".  Peace be with you today, and may you be fearless in the face of all adversity that comes at you today!

What Cars Taught Me About Life

It’s funny how cars and people can be so much alike.

Recently, I got a new (different, since it is used) car and I absolutely love it.  Not that my car that I had for nine years was terrible, it was just that it was time for a new car.  The little red coupe that I have is actually older than my Sebring, but has half as many miles and is in better shape.  Why is that?

-It was driven less

-It was kept out of bad weather

-They kept up on the maintenance

-They avoided bad situations in the car

The truth of the matter is that as soon as a car is driven off the lot, it depreciates.  Whether it is the weather, wear and tear, or accidents, the car will always decline and need maintenance.  If you want to keep the car in its best shape, you will do what is best for the car.

I know a decent amount of people who do exactly that.  However, I know a lot more people that don’t do that.  Even worse, I find that people do not take care of themselves.  So lets think about this.

As soon as (the car/I) am (Driven off the lot/born) (the car/I) am deteriorating.

Do I keep up on (the oil changes/rest)?

Do I put in good quality (gas/food) into my (car/body)?

Do I avoid (pot holes/unnecessary conflict)?

Do I keep (my car/myself) out of (bad weather/unhealthy friendships and relationships)?

When (my car/I) am(is) (broken/sick or hurt) do I get it checked out?

Do I let (dirt/tasks) build up to the point it is too hard to take care of?

Do I (drive/work) too much and put excessive (miles/work hours) on (my car/my life)

I’m I too aggressive and not careful when I (drive/with my feelings and other people’s feelings)

I could probably go on for a while, but this is just something that I was thinking about. 

These past six months have been a total blur because I feel as if there is never enough time in the day to get everything done.  I am doing my absolute best to take care of myself, I fail at it at times, but I am doing my best.  So what I am trying to do is…

- Block off three or four times a week to lift weights, swim, and bike

- Stop doing school work at 10 or 11pm if I am not working my other job and go to bed

- Limit the shifts at my other job

- Pack lunches the night before, and only buy lunch once a week

- Give my free time to people who won’t abuse it or become toxic

- Budget grocery money for fresh produce and meats

- Read my Bible/Commentaries before I go to bed at night (Mornings are terrible for me with my medical issue)

So these are a few examples of ways that I am trying to “keep the tread on my tires” and not let wear and tear get the best of me.

Jesus says that our body is a temple, and I want to make sure that the temple (which is his property) is taken care of properly.  One day he will ask me, “how did you take care of what I have given you”, and I hope that both my answer and his response will be positive ones.  In essence, whether it is a car or my body, I am called to take care of it… and I am going to do my best to do that.

  

Keeping the Holidays Stress Free and Satan Free

It is amazing how the enemy likes to sneak into our lives and cause chaos during moments are special and fleeting.  It dawned on me over the Christmas holiday.

I was playing a worship set for our Christmas Eve service at church, and the entire practice session was chaotic for me.  I didn’t have the sheet music, so I was running around trying to get it.  When I couldn’t find it, I grabbed one of the copies and ran to the printing room.

As I was on stage getting ready to play, I noticed that half of the songs were not in the packet that I grabbed and copied.  I managed to find some of them laying around mixed in with previous sets, but one of the last songs was not there.  So as we started playing the last song, I was able to get a glimpse of the notes as the singers were singing, but then inadvertently shifted the music sheet around making it impossible for me to see!! 

I got annoyed because I wanted to play but I couldn’t do it, so I sat down.  Right as I was starting to get annoyed… it dawned on me.  I was exactly where Satan wanted me to be.  I was annoyed and my focus was taken off of where it should have been: Christ and the experience of helping people connect with him through worship.  I was in the process of getting neutralized.

Needless to say, I lightened up shortly after.  But then my thoughts drifted… what about how we get so bent out of shape over not buying the perfect gift (or receiving the perfect gift)?  Or how we bust our butts to make a turkey dinner, and by the time the dinner is done we are so stressed out that no one wants to be around us?... this is Satan doing what Satan does… stealing our joy, killing our mood, and destroying relationships.  (John 10:10- thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy).

I went to one Christmas Eve dinner and one Christmas Day dinner this year.  The thing that impressed me was that it was very low stress.  Both hosts told me that they wanted to keep it low key because they did not want the added stress.  I smiled in light of what I noticed earlier, and I found that we had a low stress time and it allowed me to focus on the reason for the season… God, family, friends, etc.

Food for thought:  pay attention to how often those stressors happen and where they happen.  I am not saying that he took my song sheets or anything like that, but instead he saw an opportunity to frustrate me an capitalized on it.  In addition to that, think about the repercussions to allowing your day/night being ruined by those incidents that occur.

All that being said, hope you all had a Merry Christmas, and that the New Year Brings blessings beyond measure to you and your family!  And always remember, do not sweat the small things because often times they are just small things to distract us… in doing so, you don’t give the enemy any room to steal, kill, or destroy!

Avoiding a cliché message on Thanksgiving, but failing at it!

As the title might imply, I don’t want to give another Thanksgiving message that rings hollow. So that being said, lets remember that it is a day that we give thanks, but we must remember to live a life that is thankful. 

For me, it has been a process.  Growing up in middle class Cleveland and working in retail quite a bit, the ideas of material lust and gluttony are always prevalent.  I have learned ways to get around these traps so that I would find peace and contentment instead of hunger and unrest.

Here are a few things that I have learned in life to have a life of thanksgiving, rather than just a day of thanksgiving.

Celebrate the things that I have, don’t focus on what I don’t have.  This was a big lesson for me.  I listened to people for years tell me that I needed a new car (one that was more “me”), new phone, a wife, etc.  It was fairly annoying, and at times it made me second guess what I had in my life.  The thing is that if I did get one of those, my life might not be any better… in fact, it could be worse.  So instead, I am celebrating not having debts or drama that follows those things and being patient when the right things come along.

Be happy for the Jones’, but don’t try to keep up with them.  Comparisons are dangerous.  I am Jason.  Not someone else.  Being a twin, I was constantly being compared by my peers growing up, which just created discontent.  I learned quickly that I will not keep up with the Joneses because this is a race with no end in sight or purpose, other than trying to look good. I get my identity from God, not what my neighbors think.  So instead, when someone is blessed with something, I smile and am happy for them.

Delete the words “I deserve” from my vocabulary.  What I am not saying is that we should think that we should be depraved and don’t deserve anything, but instead we should not treat God like he is a cosmic ATM or create a mentality that our needs and desires take precedence to everyone else.  Another dangerous thought on this line is that when we think “I deserve that”, it frequently leads to sin and selfishness.  So again, this means not living a life of demanding, but a life of gratitude.

Focus on the time that I do have with people, not the distance between.  This is an easy one to do.  Again, here is an example of me trying to focus on what is there… not what is absent.  The truth is, with people there is a lot more “absence” in life and if we try to fill it, then we will go nuts or become clingy/possessive/controlling to those close to us.  Neither of which are good =) This is why I do my best to appreciate every moment with those I care about, and look forward to the next time I see them... whenever that will be.

Be still and know that he is God (Psalm 46:10), and God is a good father (Matthew 7:11).  Just like a good parent, God won’t give us EVERYTHING that we want.  Honestly, would you give your kids everything that they want... I remember what I wanted as a kid, and I am glad that my parents didn't cave for my every whim!  

He knows what we want and what we need, he will give us what we need even if we don’t realize that is what we need.  Sure, I didn’t want to be unemployed… but there were valuable lessons that I learned during that time.  I didn’t like being underpaid once I got a job, but I learned how to budget… which is what I needed.  Those trials that I needed have helped me become who I am today, and I am thankful for that.  I am sure that better things are yet to come, but until then, I do my best to be thankful knowing that I have a God in heaven who knows best... not me!

So happy Turkey Day to all, and remember the reason for the season!