Avoiding a cliché message on Thanksgiving, but failing at it!

As the title might imply, I don’t want to give another Thanksgiving message that rings hollow. So that being said, lets remember that it is a day that we give thanks, but we must remember to live a life that is thankful. 

For me, it has been a process.  Growing up in middle class Cleveland and working in retail quite a bit, the ideas of material lust and gluttony are always prevalent.  I have learned ways to get around these traps so that I would find peace and contentment instead of hunger and unrest.

Here are a few things that I have learned in life to have a life of thanksgiving, rather than just a day of thanksgiving.

Celebrate the things that I have, don’t focus on what I don’t have.  This was a big lesson for me.  I listened to people for years tell me that I needed a new car (one that was more “me”), new phone, a wife, etc.  It was fairly annoying, and at times it made me second guess what I had in my life.  The thing is that if I did get one of those, my life might not be any better… in fact, it could be worse.  So instead, I am celebrating not having debts or drama that follows those things and being patient when the right things come along.

Be happy for the Jones’, but don’t try to keep up with them.  Comparisons are dangerous.  I am Jason.  Not someone else.  Being a twin, I was constantly being compared by my peers growing up, which just created discontent.  I learned quickly that I will not keep up with the Joneses because this is a race with no end in sight or purpose, other than trying to look good. I get my identity from God, not what my neighbors think.  So instead, when someone is blessed with something, I smile and am happy for them.

Delete the words “I deserve” from my vocabulary.  What I am not saying is that we should think that we should be depraved and don’t deserve anything, but instead we should not treat God like he is a cosmic ATM or create a mentality that our needs and desires take precedence to everyone else.  Another dangerous thought on this line is that when we think “I deserve that”, it frequently leads to sin and selfishness.  So again, this means not living a life of demanding, but a life of gratitude.

Focus on the time that I do have with people, not the distance between.  This is an easy one to do.  Again, here is an example of me trying to focus on what is there… not what is absent.  The truth is, with people there is a lot more “absence” in life and if we try to fill it, then we will go nuts or become clingy/possessive/controlling to those close to us.  Neither of which are good =) This is why I do my best to appreciate every moment with those I care about, and look forward to the next time I see them... whenever that will be.

Be still and know that he is God (Psalm 46:10), and God is a good father (Matthew 7:11).  Just like a good parent, God won’t give us EVERYTHING that we want.  Honestly, would you give your kids everything that they want... I remember what I wanted as a kid, and I am glad that my parents didn't cave for my every whim!  

He knows what we want and what we need, he will give us what we need even if we don’t realize that is what we need.  Sure, I didn’t want to be unemployed… but there were valuable lessons that I learned during that time.  I didn’t like being underpaid once I got a job, but I learned how to budget… which is what I needed.  Those trials that I needed have helped me become who I am today, and I am thankful for that.  I am sure that better things are yet to come, but until then, I do my best to be thankful knowing that I have a God in heaven who knows best... not me!

So happy Turkey Day to all, and remember the reason for the season! 

The Giving Life: Revisited

As you guys have noticed, I have not spent a lot of time writing lately.  There are a few reasons for that, but I am glad to be back doing something that I love and doing something that can possibly give life to someone else.  During this time, I had a lot of time to think and observe life around me.

One observation that I have made is that there is a serious case of depression in the Cleveland area.  Not everyone has it, but it seems that many people close to me suffer from it and it seems to be holding them back from a greater life.  The shame is that those people who are feeling oppressed are recoiling and isolating themselves.

So this is a call to anyone who is feeling overwhelmed, depressed, or defeated:  Don't lose heart, and don't be afraid to put yourself out there and help others.

It seems very counter-intuitive, but I have found that usually when I feel drained and like I have nothing left to give, that is when I am called to give again. Sometimes I feel as if my soul is screaming underneath my skin, but I do it anyway.   And you know what?  I was able to bless others because of it, even through the exhaustion or pain that I felt.  But it wasn't about me, it was about helping them... and I found peace and joy in that.

God is teaching me that instead of seeking his "blessings" all the time, I need to be proactive and bless others.  Will I get blessed in return?  I don't know, but I am content with that.  I am okay with not knowing the big picture or how God is going to work in my life.  I just need to focus on doing what God wants me to do, and if the blessing comes... great.  If not, I will continue to give and continue to fight the good fight.

The contentment that Paul speaks about in Philippians 4:11-12 is becoming clearer to me.  Whether it is not having much money or sleep, having medical problems, or working 60-70 hours a week between two jobs, I am learning to be content and know that I am where God wants me.  I am hoping that things will get more comfortable, but I am learning to wait patiently for that day.  Until then, I need to keep giving what I have.

Wait, Jason.  You said that you don't have much money.  How can you give what you don't have?  

What was that?  I am glad that you asked!  Being able to give your time and talents can mean just as much to someone.

Aside from the general melancholy that I am seeing, I am finding that many of these people do three things:  

1.  Focus so much on their wounds that they can't see anything else 

2.  They don't share their talents and gifts with others

3.  They expect others to give them things without doing anything in return

The issue is that it leads to a life of self-absorption, willingly or not.  Self-absorption is the death of generosity... and the death of blessing others.

I have been there before.  Isolation is a dangerous thing and it gives a lot of time to focus on the wounds and the pain that we experience.  I intended to preserve myself, but instead I cut myself off.  Thats why I forced myself to get out of the house and help those in need.  I realized that when I wasn't doing that, I felt like a tiger in a zoo... a powerful animal that wants to feel powerful again, but has the issue of being stuck in an a world that they were not intended to live.  So I found my way out, and I remembered what it was like to be free again.

The cool thing is that all of us can have that.  We don't have to be stuck in the concrete mundane world where we feel captive.  Instead, we can live a giving life and get out of the cycle of self-absorption.

Some people can stay depressed for years and not change a thing.  To that, I ask, "how is that working for you?"  If you are ready for a change, start by giving to people.  God intended for us to be in community, and I truly believe that he meant for us to find life in community as well.  Choose to give.  Choose to live.

The Art of Keeping it Simple!

So picking up where I left off months ago, one spiritual discipline stands out to me as something that I not only need to work on, but also others could probably benefit by practicing: Simplicity!

What's that?  Am I hearing collective groaning? Its okay, trust me!  You are not doomed to hoarding, complicated lives, complicated friendships, situations that give you headaches, and frustration.  I have learned this past year how much easier life is for me when I am keeping life simple.

I have been really trying to take to heart 1 John 2:15, which states not to love the world or anything in it, but that anyone who loves the world will not have the love of the father.  Does it sound harsh?  Yes.  But at the same time, I have to remember the idea of "love" in this case means to put something in front of God.  That being said, if I obsess over things that are temporary and put accumulating those things (things: material stuff, relationships, jobs, etc) above God, I have found that those things will eventually create a thirst that I can not quench.  Whether they deteriorate, die, end, or lose their appeal, those "things" fall away.  That is why I have learned to be content with what I have and be addicted to accumulating extra things.

Here are a few things that I am learning about life and being simple:

1.  Clutter makes me stressed.  I am not a hoarder, nor am I ever going to be a hoarder, but having too much makes me feel claustrophobic.  So why hold onto stuff that I do not need?

2.  Giving away stuff is liberating.  By virtue of working in clothing stores, one thing that I have a lot of is clothes.  Being able to share what I have with others helps meet their needs, but also helps me detach from anything that could take over my mind.

3.  It reminds me that "stuff" does not control me.  In the past few months, I was told that I needed a better phone, a better sense of style, a better job, a nicer car, a different hairstyle, to make more money, and to ultimately change who I was because who I was did not sit well with some people.  That being said, if I did make those alterations... what does it give me?  In most of those cases, it is debt and a confused identity.  Those things don't make me who I am, I have nice things, but I don't need to have everything.

4.  Complexities are expensive.  Whether it is time, money, or emotions, complexities have a way of taxing me in many different ways.  I need to be smart about what I invest in.

5.  I realize my value.  By taking away my "stuff", I can clearly see who I am.  One moment in my life that I cherish is when I was in seminary (with very little money), I was able to scrape together a few dollars to go ice skating and go to dinner with a woman that I was friends with.  She told me that the previous guys she hung out with were rich and drove expensive cars, but she had more fun with me and that the night was meaningful to her.  That blessed me because it reminded me that even though I had very little, that she liked me for who I was... which I rarely (if ever) hear.

6.  I have more energy when life is simple.  Being a new teacher and trying to teach six different classes keeps me busy!  When I factor in ministry, friends, work, and self care (resting, sleeping and working out), my schedule gets packed quickly.  That being said, I try not to complicate my schedule more than it is and I give times to things that are worth giving time to.

7.  Dramatic people = Life clutter. One danger to simplicity in life is people who are abusive, selfish, controlling, or demanding.  I can remember years ago having a friend who used to drink and then draw me into conflicts for various reasons.  I knew another person who for whatever reason would create fights when there was nothing to fight about, and for some reason must have enjoyed crying and screaming.  I learned quickly that their chaos was not simple, and it was definitely not Godly.  I had to cut ties, which stunk, but life was less stressful and healthier after that.

8.  Simplicity is peaceful.  Have you ever heard anyone say, "wow, that person needs more complications in their life!"?  One thing that I have learned about most simple people is that they are a joy to be around because you know who they are, they have healthy priorities, and they usually try to live harmoniously in life.

9.  When God provides, I don't need to be stressed out about life.  For the first time in a long time I feel that I am where God wants me for my occupation and for church, and I am at peace about it.  The job came out of no where and the church just so happened to have needs that I am able to help with.  It took a while in life for these things to fall in place, but in the end, God provided for me as I patiently waited on him.

10. Religion is simple.  As I pursue a relationship with Jesus, my life changes.  When we try to complicate religion, we create chaos.  I keep my eyes on Christ and do my best to be humble before him, and I trust that he will keep my life simple yet meaningful.

Fasting: The Discipline I Dread, Yet Crave.

In case you were wondering… no, I was not sucked into a blackhole!  There were many times that I wanted to write over the past few months, but between my internship, school, work, moving, moving again, trying to be a good friend/boyfriend, my life has been crazy and not much time was left for writing!

That being said, back to the spiritual disciplines series!  Lately, I have been mauling over the topic of fasting.  It is a pretty interesting one that tends to keep people fairly torn. 

1.     There are more things to fast than food!  Too often, people focus on the food aspect of fasting.  Yes, it is good to do that, but don’t limit yourself!  One of the best fasts that I did was I stopped playing video games for a month, and you know what, I felt SO MUCH BETTER!

2.     I try to fill the time with prayer and scripture.  If I am just going about my life not eating for a day, or two, or forty, I want to fill that time that I am not eating with communion with God.  It draws me closer during that time and reminds me of why I am sacrificing the item that I am fasting from.

3.     Sacrifice is the heart of the matter.  In the past, I have went into fasts wondering what I can get out of it.  In all reality, I was way off base!  I should have been focusing on the fact that I was setting aside something that was hindering my life. 

4.     I put that “thing” in it’s place.  Often times, we feel helpless against our feelings, desires, and emotions.  But God created us to have dominion over our life.  When I had that focus, I realized that those things that I thought controlled me were at my mercy… not me being held at it’s mercy.

5.     I need to have the right mindset.  If I look at the fast as grueling and torturous, well, it probably won’t be very successful!  I will probably go right back to what I was doing.  That being said, I always tried to have a positive attitude and talk about the freedom that I was gaining because of the fast.  As Jesus mentions in Matthew 6:16-18, do not look gloomy and get attention for your fasting like the Pharisees, but do it to be noticed by God.

6.     Don’t announce it to the world. When I fast, I usually only tell a few people so that they can keep me in prayer and keep me accountable.

7.     Don’t do it just because everyone else is.  I firmly believe that group fasting can be good, but just because my neighbor is doing it doesn’t mean that I should feel obligated to do it because God might not want me to do it. 

8.     Fast something that I struggle with.  I usually fast things I struggle with, and not whatever the “in thing” is.  For instance, when people were fasting Facebook, I realized that I would lose touch with too many people so I should keep it.  Instead, I decided that was a good time to start writing Bible verses and positive quotes rather than frivolous things.  That being said, I found something that I needed freedom from and set it aside for God to take away permanently.

9.     Fasting does not always give immediate results.  When I had a crisis of direction, I decided to fast and seek God’s direction.  The day after I stopped the fast, I got my answer!  Whenever I have fasted and sought out God’s direction, it usually came a few days later.

10. If you break a fast early, God won’t punish you!  Too many people think that once you accidently break a fast, that its over.  God knows your heart and he knows your intent, so get right back on the bike and keep pedaling! For instance, when I was giving up soft drinks, I accidently drank some here and there over a month.  But my intent was to sacrifice it so that it did not have a hold of my life and that God could fill that void with something healthier.  When I slipped, I did not let it hold me back because God knew that I wanted to manage it better to honor my body and to honor him.  Mercy is one of God’s great qualities that we often forget about.

Honestly, fasting is one of the hardest disciplines for me to engage in, but I would recommend it to anyone.  Even though I can dread it and avoid, every time I do it I feel closer to God.  Like every other discipline, it requires patience and time.  But in the end it is very rewarding.

I look forward to writing more soon, a lot has happened in eight months so I have a lot to write about.  Until then, have a great day and may God bless you greatly today!

10 Things That Have Changed My View on Prayer

      As the third part of my spiritual discipline series, this is one of the disciplines that I have been more attuned to lately.  I have also noticed that God has taught me a lot lately.  We could probably go on for chapters talking about this, but I wanted to give a brief synopsis of what I have been learning.

It is first and foremost a conversation with God:  When I think about prayer, it is not necessarily a formal or rigid process.  When praying with others, I will sometimes joke around while praying and talk to him like he is my neighbor.  There is no specific formula, you just start chatting with Him and share what’s on your mind.  What I have found is that most people who spend a lot of time talking to God know his voice and know his heart very well.  Just like any relationship, the more you communicate the better you understand the other person.

2.     There is power in our words: Recently I have struggled with the notion that my prayers are ineffective and that they don’t change people’s lives, and it affected me to the point where I was going back and forth on whether or not I should join a prayer ministry.  What I have learned is that I have the power of life and death in my tongue (Proverbs 18:21), therefore I am responsible for praying life into people and into myself.  Whether or not people accept it is a different story, but even if I am not seeing major or immediate results, I can be confident that I am saying something that is beneficial to the person.

3.     Sometimes I’m on the wrong channel:  I can be so guilty of this!   When I think about prayer that I think is getting unanswered, it could be getting answered in a different way.  For instance, I ask for patience and it seems that every irritable situation comes up.  God never handed me patience, he allowed me to go through tough situations where I can work on myself and grow into the man that he wants me to be.

4.     God is more concerned about my character than my comfort: Growing up I was taught that God works on a reward system.  If I have the faith, he gives me what I want.  At one point I struggled with school stress, depression, injury, and the effects of manipulation, and I was being told that I was not blessed because I lacked faith. I was looking for the comfortable life.  I realized that I was way off.  If I ever have a bad day, I think about what Paul had to endure (2 Corinthians 11:16-25), it was a nightmare!  If God allowed that to happen to Paul, then it could happen to me.  But God was shaping him into the man that he needed him to be, and I understand that God is interested in my character as well.  In the past I was asking God  for a comfortable life instead of asking for his comforter, the Holy Spirit.  This is why I now ask for the Holy Spirit and I ask for wisdom, patience, and understanding for God allowing my circumstance to happen.  I may not like it, but I am willing to be conformed to his will.

5.     Sometimes an answer is on the way, but I am just not patient enough:  Often times God answers as yes, no, or not yet.  The problem is that sometimes answers take years to come about, and we as American’s want it right away.  God does answer prayer, but he has the scope of eternity in mind so it may take longer than expected.  Instead of trying get mad and give up on God, I will keep asking for that answer and I will keep praying for others and myself knowing that he will answer.  For those who have been praying for physical or spiritual healing, know that healing is a process, not an event.  That is one thing that I had to learn because otherwise my expectations would not be met.  In most cases, prayer is a continual need and is a process that usually has small improvements over time.

6.     When I refuse to communicate with him, I cut myself off from him: During one period of my life I decided that I was done with God.  Instead, I should have tried to refuse to communicate with the negative people in my life and work on forgiving those that hurt me in the church.  I know that it grieved God that I was not talking with him, but he also grieved the wounds in my heart and the fact that I misunderstood cold and distant Christians as him being cold and distant.  In return, I became cold and distant as well.  It wasn’t until I had Godly Christian people in my life who modeled Godly love that I realized that I wanted to communicate with him and know him better.

7.     My choices can often interfere with God answering my prayers:  During another rough part of my life, I was trying to seek God but unwilling to change certain aspects of my life.  I found that I was like David looking at Bathsheba.  I was supposed to be out to war with my men, but instead I was in the wrong place and I was staring at something that could set me back for years if I was not careful.   Friendships soured, the job situation was bad because I didn’t feel at peace and it gnawed at me, the ministry I was in became dysfunctional and harmful, and I was not liking the man I was becoming.  Worst of all, I was feeling cut off and lost.   So what did I do?  I got rid of the job because it was holding me back from God answering a prayer for something greater and it wasn’t providing for me anyway.  I tuned out the negative voices so I could try and hear Godly voices better.  I quit the ministry and just worked on getting myself right.  I read books from a variety of authors with a variety of perspectives that helped me reconstruct my life.  The bottom line was that what I was doing was not working and interfering with the work of God, so I continually made changes until he had room to work.   

8.     “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done.” What am I asking for?:  When you look at what Jesus taught his disciples in the Sermon on the Mount, here is how it looks:

           

            Revering God

            Asking for his kingdom to come and his will to be done

            Provisions for the day, be it spiritual or physical

            Forgive us and help us forgive others

            Keep us safe from temptation

            Keep us safe from evil

            Recognizing that he is sovereign and holy

           

            After reading that, I feel guilty at times because I do not always ask for those            things.  I have made it a point to pray with these points in mind in my alone time.  That being said, I have a long way to go but I hope to make changes.  

9.     I need to put myself in a position to see prayer answered:  Whether it is a job, a spouse, healing, change in character, or whatever, I always cringe when people say, “Well God will bring this along for me.” I like their faith, but it is not inappropriate for me to turn in my resume, seek counsel, read books, etc. while waiting for the prayer to be answered.  The truth is that God works through many avenues, not just miracles.  As I like to say, if the Israelites never left Egypt, they would have never seen the miracle of a parting sea.  Therefore I have to remember to try to be active so that I can create opportunities for God to move on my prayers.

10.   God really does care.  He already knows, and my doubts, frustrations, or anger does not shock him.  I admit, sometimes I get angry at life and I talk with him about it.  For the longest time I was afraid to talk to him a certain way because I did not want to offend him.  But here’s the thing: HE ALREADY KNOWS!  One of the most real moments of my life came by me yelling in prayer with tears streaming down my face.  I was so upset at my life falling apart and I felt abandoned by God, and then the next day he answered me time and time again through other people.  I can personally attest to this idea, and I want you to never be afraid to go before him in prayer.  He loves you deeply, he wants to free you from bondage, help you find your way, and he even wants to hear about your day.  He wants our friendship, and he wants to talk with us.  Never forget that.

Meditating on the Right Stuff

So my question to you is, “What do you meditate on?”  And no… I am not talking about the rather large man with the big belly.  Not that type of meditation. Christian meditation is about filling up your mind, not emptying it.

Filling up my mind?  Yes.  Filling up.  So what that means is that we are taking the time to reflect on what God is saying to us and obeying it.  How can this be done?  A few different ways:

Meditating  on Scripture:  Reading a passage or passages and taking the time to focus on those passages and allowing them to become applicable to us.  I do this a lot on days that I can not focus long enough for bigger passages and I will find a smaller one and let it take root in my soul.

Meditating to re-center your life:  This is taking the time to reflect on your life and to ask God to take those sins, anxieties, and other toxic thoughts away from you and to love on you.  I have always found this to be helpful because it allows God to de-clutter my mind and replace the toxins with his love.

Meditating on God’s Creation:  Have you ever stopped to think about the idiosyncrasies of everything that God has created around us?  It is absolutely amazing!  Spending time appreciating what God has done and soaking ourselves in that beauty can be rejuvenating and he wants to meet us there and enjoy it with us. 

Meditating on events:  Sometimes events in our world or events in our personal life seem to be confusing.  Spending time to ask God for clarification for these events can give us peace, understanding, and perspective in ways that we could never do on our own.  I admit, when dealing with my own life, re-entering the wound can be irritating and painful, but any form of healing has a cleansing pain.

So these are a few examples that I have read about and have done.  The key is that God is filling you as you are creating a spiritual and emotional space for him to operate in.  Whether he is filling you with his knowledge, wisdom, beauty, or love, we are seeking a closer bond with him.

That being explained, I will return to my question: what do you meditate on?  The truth is that most of my life I have struggled have with locking onto God.  I know that I am susceptible to negative thoughts due to what I have been through and Satan likes to grab hold of that, so that is why I try to keep this scripture in the back of my mind:

Philippians 4:8:

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

I find that when I stray from meditating on the right things, that’s when my thought life becomes damaged.  Sometimes, even my relationship with God is damaged because of it.  This is because I dwell on a perceived offense, I misinterpret something that I should not have and meditate on it, or that I entertain and welcome into my life any other myriad of negative thoughts come to mind.  That’s why I try to focus on the things of God, because his thoughts do not exhaust my soul… they give it life.

I would like to challenge you to do that this week.  Consider one of the forms of meditation mentioned above and do it.  My hope is that in the shortest time possible that you will feel a deepened sense of intimacy and friendship with God.