I have struggled with a few things in my life, and one of them has been faith. Not the kind of faith that makes you feel that God is there, but the type that believes that he can and will do great things for you. Being that many of my friends and colleagues are the type that believe heavily in the power of miracles and healing, I have gone through life with a few disabilities wondering why God has not healed me of them. Sometimes I have received harsh words and noticed that they look down on me because of it.
For those that have known me at points in my life, they know that I am not the type to sit there and wallow about what should be. In fact, if you are close to me, you probably have heard me say that what is and what should be are two different things and those that demand what should be will be very disappointed with life. That being said, I have always mourned the death of what should be, and then I picked myself up and pursued what is in front of me so that I may seek the best life possible. I have always dealt with my deficiencies that way.
A few years ago, a religious person walked into my life and told me, “God wants you to be healed, accept that now.” I believe that I can be healed by God, but is it his will? They tell me that it is his will, and they quote scripture. They seems to make sense, so I allow myself to be prayed for, what’s the worst that could happen? What I do not anticipate is that the worst happens and I am told that I do not have faith, because if I had faith the size of a mustard seed, God would heal me. So obviously, my salvation is hanging in the balance of my ability to get healed. There is a lot of pressure, especially considering that they are not willing to listen to logic.
So fast forward to last Thursday, when I went to a service and yet again was not healed. Some people were healed, others were not. I did not take it as a slight from God, I just wondered how that works. I maintain that God has his reasons, and I was able to discuss how I felt with others, and I received a few good points that I would like to highlight.
A girl that I recently befriended talked about how in Daniel that Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were thrown into the fire for not wanting to worship the gods or statues of Nebuchadnezzar. Before that happened, they said that they believed that God would save them, but if he didn’t, that they would die not worshipping the kings statues or gods. This made me think about how people often times base their faith on what God can do for them. The three men were committed to God, and that is what was important. It did not matter that God did not rescue them (but he did), they were committed to him regardless of his actions.
I then spoke with one of my better friends in Divinity School, and had a good talk with her. I mentioned that the service was hard for me because of my history unhealthy churches, but I really liked the message and I cannot argue with what God has done with this woman. My friend knows my health history, and as we talked she told me that I AM a miracle. I was really uncomfortable and was dumbfounded, so quickly changed the subject! But I realized that even though I am not necessarily being blessed, I am able to bless, inspire and encourage others because of what I am going through and overcoming.
The last conversation was with another more recent friend that I have made. As we talked about the conference, I mentioned that little miracles happen all around us. I mentioned that it is much like baseball, where most people only want to see homeruns but could careless about a well-played base hit. The base hits happen and can be very effective, but people generally only acknowledge the base hit when the game is on the line. Because of this, no one is really looking for anything but the homeruns. I have a tendency to look for the little miracles, the unexplainable acts that happen before me daily.
This being said, the three major points I would like to ask are this…
If you do not receive a major miracle, will that impact your faith?
If you are receiving a miracle that you want, do you think that maybe it is because you could be blessing more people else in the process?
Are you looking for the small miracles in life?
So miracles happen every day, but are you waiting for a conference to come or are you looking for them as they happen around you?
