So I was debating not talking about this, but I figured what the heck I have nothing to lose at this point. I learned a very harsh lesson this week that is frustrating, but I am honestly at fault.
Anyone that knows me knows that I honestly seek relationship with God and with others and do my best to live a life like Christ. This means actually being like Christ, and not just being "Christian." Part of being like Christ requires me to be in peoples lives and go where they go. Sometimes that means going places that you really don't want to go. Going to a tax collectors house was an abomination in the eyes of the Pharisees, but Jesus did it anyway because he loved the tax collectors.
So the other night, I went to the dollar theatre to spend time with a friend that I have not seen in a week or two. Being that I had free time between then and an evening commitment, I decided to accept the invitation not knowing when I would see him next. I really did not care about the movie, I would not have seen it otherwise, but since it was a dollar and it meant spending time with him, I went. To avoid sounding like I am rationalizing my actions, aside from the violence and some cursing, there was nothing that gave me red flags.
Bottom line, it got back to the wrong people at the last minute and now I have "character concerns" that cancelled my ordination interview. Talk about good intentions that went bad. I don't want to vent or sound like I am trying to complain, instead I want you to learn from my mistake. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and I paid for it. Even if I get my interview, now too many people have a tainted view of my character and think that I have a steady diet of those type of movies, which I don't. These are impressions that will not go away.
1 Timothy 3 talks about the qualities of an "overseer", and I think it is significant to know that they are supposed to remain above reproach. No, you should not be sitting on an ivory tower thumbing your nose at people, but also you need to be careful that you do not give others ammunition to damage the reputation of you or other Christians. This is tough because some people will look for those opportunities and make them no matter what, so disregard their words because they want to find that fault. Be concerned about the others that you could leave impressions on.
As I always tell those in my care, even if there is no one looking to disprove you, there will be people looking up to you. This is why it is important to set a good example for people. Will we be perfect? No. But people who know our hearts know that we are trying our best but we fail. There is grace for that. Just don't make the mistake of creating a bad habit that is destructive to yourself and to others.
In closing, be careful about how you conduct your life. Do it whole heartedly and honestly live the life because you want to, don't just do it to pass the test and look good. People who cram for the test always lose what they learned, and it fails to help them in their careers. It is the same way in life, if we cram and use our knowledge only for the test, we are missing the point of why we are learning and being tested. It is for our future and to benefit others. When we align our hearts with Christ's, we strive to live a life of love. So lets be wise, and not give room for people to convict us.
