As you know the past few weeks I have been seeking God's direction for my life, and I am finding that I am getting a lot more answers. When I get prayed over, I find that I generally get the same messages repeatedly. Last night (actually this morning, circa 1-2 am) I got prayed over by a man who never met me and knew nothing about my life. He reaffirmed that I was in a void point of my life and that I was not at peace with my situation, but reaffirmed that I would be out of that period of my life soon. This is the third or fourth time that I have received this message by someone who is not familiar with my situation, and though I find it comforting, there are still a lot of questions that need to be answered.
I am generally good about being patient and waiting, but I can only hold out financially for so long; thus I am rather curious about the next stage of life. What I found to be helpful was that I was reminded that the situation is not about me... we often times think everything is about us, but what about the people at our appointed destination that need our blessing. The pieces may not be in place yet, or the person that I am to replace may still be occupying the position. These things take time, and I just need to remember that.
Though I set out to talk about something different, I wanted to include that in my message since it is related. The main message that I wanted to talk about today was why it seems that people who honestly try hard at life seem to get the short end of the stick while others seem to walk through life getting what they want even if they do it deviously. It can be frustrating to some, and one verse that really stuck out to me was looking at the story of Esau and Jacob in Genesis 27.
When we look at how Jacob deceived his brother by taking his birthright, many people think, "how unfair!" Rebekah deceived a dying Isaac by dressing up Jacob as Esau so that he may receive the blessing. Jacob also convinced Esau to exchange his inheritance for some lentil stew and bred when he was exhausted. It seems that this deception was unfair, and that Esau was getting robbed of what was rightfully his as the older twin. But there is reason to believe that Israel would have never come into existence without Jacob's schemes.
Esau married wives that worshipped other Gods. Many people today have no problem marrying people of other denominations or religions, but back then marrying someone of other religious beliefs was a dangerous practice and had further implications. In this case, Esau married Hittites who worshipped many Gods, none of which was the God of Abraham and Isaac. If Esau was to continue on this path and the nation of Israel were to be formed from him, it would have failed due to Hittite influence. It was crucial that the nation of Israel was formed with like minded people. Though he tried to marry one of Ishmael's daughters later, it was too little too late to regain his father's blessing.
The second detail worth noting is that the birthright was everything to these people. The fact that he sold his birthright for a meal speaks volumes for how little he viewed it's value. Either that, or he was so short sighted that he would rather have the immediate gratification of food when he wanted it than to have an eternal blessing.
The third detail worth noting is that Esau was not exactly a poster child for founding a nation. Him and his Hittite wives made life bitter for Isaac and Rebekah (Gen 27:35, 46), so they created many issues inside the house of Isaac.
When all of these things are considered, it may have been good that God allowed Jacob to deceive Esau. If he did not, the house of Israel would have looked completely different, if it would have existed at all. I am not saying this today to condone devious or deceitful acts, but instead to bring new perspective to why some things happen the way that they do. There is a big picture, and sometimes we do not have a grasp of it because of where we stand.
So that brings me to today. I am still waiting for everything to line up and wondering when it will, but at least I know that God has the big picture in mind and I know that he is able to use whatever he wants to get his will to work properly. I just have to wait for the opportunity like Jacob rather than trying to force my own destiny like Esau.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Did you ever think that...
Yes, I should be wrapping up my final paper for my first semester of counseling school, but this won't take long! When I think about the world, I mean, the universe, it can be absolutely overwhelming. There is so much to it that it is hard to fathom in my finite mind. So I stop, and I think about what is right in front of me: earth. Did you ever stop to think about what it takes to create a livable planet? I stole this from my Apologetics Dictionary (pp. 26 & 27), but think about these ideas, for a moment:
If the atmosphere was 25 percent oxygen, the world would be on fire... if it was 15 percent, humans would suffocate. Our atmosphere is 21 percent oxygen.
If there was a slight increase in gravity, the sun would burn too rapidly and erratically to sustain life.
If the centrifugal force of the planetary movement did not precisely balance the gravitational forces, then nothing would orbit around the sun.
If the universe was expanding one millionth slower than it is, the temperature of the earth would be 10,000 degrees.
If the average distance between stars was not as far as they were, orbits would become erratic and the extreme temperature variations on earth would kill life.
If Jupiter's orbit was different, then the earth would be bombarded by asteroids and comments that would have otherwise been sucked in by Jupiter's gravitational pull.
If the earths crust was any thinner, volcanic activity would destroy life on earth. If it was thicker, too much oxygen would be transferred to the earth, thus life could not be supported.
If the rotation of the earth was anything other than 24 hours, the temperatures would be too erratic to support life.
If the axial tilt was any different, then surface temperatures would destroy life.
If lightening was any stronger, it would create too much fire destruction... if it was weaker, than there would be too little of nitrogen in the soil.
If there were more earthquakes, then too much life would be lost. If there were less earthquakes, certain nutrients needed for life would not cycle back into the continents as it should.
When I read these facts, I can not help but think about how God tailor made the earth for us. It gives me hope and it gives me faith knowing that God knows what he is doing. Anyway, I just wanted to share that because I found it to be extremely helpful!
If the atmosphere was 25 percent oxygen, the world would be on fire... if it was 15 percent, humans would suffocate. Our atmosphere is 21 percent oxygen.
If there was a slight increase in gravity, the sun would burn too rapidly and erratically to sustain life.
If the centrifugal force of the planetary movement did not precisely balance the gravitational forces, then nothing would orbit around the sun.
If the universe was expanding one millionth slower than it is, the temperature of the earth would be 10,000 degrees.
If the average distance between stars was not as far as they were, orbits would become erratic and the extreme temperature variations on earth would kill life.
If Jupiter's orbit was different, then the earth would be bombarded by asteroids and comments that would have otherwise been sucked in by Jupiter's gravitational pull.
If the earths crust was any thinner, volcanic activity would destroy life on earth. If it was thicker, too much oxygen would be transferred to the earth, thus life could not be supported.
If the rotation of the earth was anything other than 24 hours, the temperatures would be too erratic to support life.
If the axial tilt was any different, then surface temperatures would destroy life.
If lightening was any stronger, it would create too much fire destruction... if it was weaker, than there would be too little of nitrogen in the soil.
If there were more earthquakes, then too much life would be lost. If there were less earthquakes, certain nutrients needed for life would not cycle back into the continents as it should.
When I read these facts, I can not help but think about how God tailor made the earth for us. It gives me hope and it gives me faith knowing that God knows what he is doing. Anyway, I just wanted to share that because I found it to be extremely helpful!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Hurting people hurting people
A new friend of mine told me that I should get back into writing because I need to continue to work on my ability. I also realized that by me not sharing what I am going through, others can not learn from my mistakes, my incite, or what God is sharing with me. So I am hoping that this is not too rough, it is a bit personal, but I am not exactly a closed book.
My trip home to Cleveland was a huge help because I had a lot of time to think and pray (26 hours total after delays), and I was able to get perspective on work and school mainly. It looks like things are coming together with employment, even though I am not sure that I know where I will end up living in the next month. As for school, I may take a few weeks off and go back part time to get my counseling degree. So that was a few of the major concerns that I was able to have peace about, which leaves one big one.
I looked back on my life and I noticed a consistent relational pattern in my life. I found that in general I have a hard time finding people close to me who speak into my life positively. Whether it is friends, girlfriends, church leaders, or coworkers, I have a tendency to attract people who are negative or have unreal expectations. I have pretty healthy self-esteem, and I have always been comfortable with who I am, but it is never fun when you realize the person that you are associating with (friend, significant other, family, etc) takes you for granted, is careless with your feelings, or criticizes you when you are trying your best. In turn, when I am around this too much, it makes it harder for me to be positive. Thats why I took a break from writing, thats why I took a break from a lot of people: I did not want to spread that negativity.
I have learned that I can not control them or change them, but as an adult I can choose how much I am with them or how much they speak into my life. I can also tell someone when they are being rude, when they have unrealistic expectations, when I need a break from them, so on and so forth.
At certain stages of our lives, we can not control when we see someone or how much we see them, because you can not avoid classmates, coworkers, or sometimes family. What I have learned through my life is that I have to forgive them, and try be honest with them about what they did to me. The truth is that most hurting people do not know what they do, they just do it almost like a habit. They more than likely do not remember what they do, nor do they care, but you are the one left with damage. I can not change their actions, but I can make an effort to take the baggage that they placed in my trunk, and leave it behind so that it does not weigh me down. I also hope and pray that they heal, because they need it.
So I think the bottom line that I am trying to say is that when we think about Matthew 12:24 (from the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks), are we allowing life-giving people into our lives rather than negative life-taking people? I know that we can not avoid all negative people, but we must be careful to have people who will love us and have realistic standards. If we do not, then we will become exhausted.
That is where I was, because I wanted to pick up and start school again, I wanted to get a job using my degree, I wanted to be in ministry again, I wanted to be around friends more, and I wanted to date again, but I realized that I was still exhausted from previous situations and I was trying to run at full speed while my body was beat up still. My heart was tired, and my words came out tired. I tend to do that, and I am doing my best to avoid that.
The good thing is that I figured out that I was dealing with hurting people hurting people. With that in mind, I am able to move forward and know that I am doing my best and I am overcoming my troubles, and not take ownership of their problems. It stinks sometimes, but it helps me and I hope it helps those going through the same thing that I am.
So when we think of the impact this has on our heart, I would like to challenge you today to do four things:
1. Be mindful of what people close to you are giving you. It can take years sometimes to undo what people do to you, if it can be avoided- avoid it.
2. Be willing to make the change need be, and don't let someone take your joy. This is one thing that the devil wants to take from us, so protect it fiercely.
3. Rest if you need to. Do not wear yourself out if you are tired... but remember that you need to eventually get back in the game because you are needed out there.
4. Get healing if you need to. If you have a broken leg, it won't fix itself and it will make things worse. Broken people have a higher risk of breaking others... as Christians we must be careful with each others hearts and avoid breaking others.
Thank you again for your patience with me, and I am glad to be back!
My trip home to Cleveland was a huge help because I had a lot of time to think and pray (26 hours total after delays), and I was able to get perspective on work and school mainly. It looks like things are coming together with employment, even though I am not sure that I know where I will end up living in the next month. As for school, I may take a few weeks off and go back part time to get my counseling degree. So that was a few of the major concerns that I was able to have peace about, which leaves one big one.
I looked back on my life and I noticed a consistent relational pattern in my life. I found that in general I have a hard time finding people close to me who speak into my life positively. Whether it is friends, girlfriends, church leaders, or coworkers, I have a tendency to attract people who are negative or have unreal expectations. I have pretty healthy self-esteem, and I have always been comfortable with who I am, but it is never fun when you realize the person that you are associating with (friend, significant other, family, etc) takes you for granted, is careless with your feelings, or criticizes you when you are trying your best. In turn, when I am around this too much, it makes it harder for me to be positive. Thats why I took a break from writing, thats why I took a break from a lot of people: I did not want to spread that negativity.
I have learned that I can not control them or change them, but as an adult I can choose how much I am with them or how much they speak into my life. I can also tell someone when they are being rude, when they have unrealistic expectations, when I need a break from them, so on and so forth.
At certain stages of our lives, we can not control when we see someone or how much we see them, because you can not avoid classmates, coworkers, or sometimes family. What I have learned through my life is that I have to forgive them, and try be honest with them about what they did to me. The truth is that most hurting people do not know what they do, they just do it almost like a habit. They more than likely do not remember what they do, nor do they care, but you are the one left with damage. I can not change their actions, but I can make an effort to take the baggage that they placed in my trunk, and leave it behind so that it does not weigh me down. I also hope and pray that they heal, because they need it.
So I think the bottom line that I am trying to say is that when we think about Matthew 12:24 (from the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks), are we allowing life-giving people into our lives rather than negative life-taking people? I know that we can not avoid all negative people, but we must be careful to have people who will love us and have realistic standards. If we do not, then we will become exhausted.
That is where I was, because I wanted to pick up and start school again, I wanted to get a job using my degree, I wanted to be in ministry again, I wanted to be around friends more, and I wanted to date again, but I realized that I was still exhausted from previous situations and I was trying to run at full speed while my body was beat up still. My heart was tired, and my words came out tired. I tend to do that, and I am doing my best to avoid that.
The good thing is that I figured out that I was dealing with hurting people hurting people. With that in mind, I am able to move forward and know that I am doing my best and I am overcoming my troubles, and not take ownership of their problems. It stinks sometimes, but it helps me and I hope it helps those going through the same thing that I am.
So when we think of the impact this has on our heart, I would like to challenge you today to do four things:
1. Be mindful of what people close to you are giving you. It can take years sometimes to undo what people do to you, if it can be avoided- avoid it.
2. Be willing to make the change need be, and don't let someone take your joy. This is one thing that the devil wants to take from us, so protect it fiercely.
3. Rest if you need to. Do not wear yourself out if you are tired... but remember that you need to eventually get back in the game because you are needed out there.
4. Get healing if you need to. If you have a broken leg, it won't fix itself and it will make things worse. Broken people have a higher risk of breaking others... as Christians we must be careful with each others hearts and avoid breaking others.
Thank you again for your patience with me, and I am glad to be back!
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