*Read 1 Corinthians 13*
Today I would like to discuss a word that is probably one of the most overused and misused words in the world. Thousands of books have been written on this subject, millions of songs and poems, yet it seems that people still do not have a good grasp on it. We say it to describe a feeling for our significant others, yet we can say the same thing about the steak dinner that we just ate. Two completely different meanings, but that shows how we use the word flippantly.
So how does this relate to the Corinthians? To give you some background, this verse was aimed at the church in the city of Corinth. Corinth was the largest city in 1st century Greece, and was the capital of the province of Achaia. It was a port city situated on a narrow neck of land that was a route to Rome. As we have learned with many port cities, they tended to attract many different people, religions, cultures and ideas. To properly understand the context of this verse, Paul is talking to the Corinthian church, who is as we mentioned a rather dysfunctional church. It was a typical Roman city that was very well known for it’s sexual trouble, some being so extreme that they were condoning incestuous relationships (1 Cor 5). They also did not quite grasp the idea of loving on another in an agape sense, as they had begun looking down on people who did not perform certain gifts. In fact, those that had the more glorified gifts isolated themselves because they did not want to be contaminated by the others.
With that being said, I think it is important for me to give you a definition of Love that would set the tone for agape love. Before we do that, does anyone know the different forms of love that are discussed in the Bible? There are a few types, but the main ones focused on are agape (true), eros (sexual) and philos (brotherly). My favorite definition out of Webster’s dictionary is “the unselfish, loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.” That tells me that the interest is for the other persons good, whether it is positive or negative. This is devoid of personal gain or hidden agendas. Imagine if we lived out of that definition. How different would our lives be?
So without further adieu, I am going to go into the scripture reading today. In my walk as a Christian, I have found that even though Christians can quote this scripture, they don’t always live it. So that is why I think it would be really cool to look at each of the words and not only hear your thoughts on what the word means to you, but to get the definition of the individual word.
Patient: bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint
Kind/merciful: crhsteuetai of a sympathetic or helping nature
Not filled with jealousy: xhloi , intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness
Does not boast: to talk arrogantly. This is a direct hit on Roman culture as a whole. It was a results based society and people were revered for how great they were. So needless to say, the Corinthians probably did not like this message.
Is not proud: displaying excessive self-esteem. This is completely different than having pride in what you do or being proud of yourself. Can you tell me the difference between the two?
(is not rude) Does not behave indecently or disgracefully: asxhmenei, the Greek definition is pretty thought provoking and a little more detailed than being “rude”, so that is why I have it written here.
Is not self-seeking: One thing that always confused me in relationships is how people would say “if you loved me, you would…” If love is an act that is for the benefit of others, then this obviously cannot fit the definition.
Not easily angered: This can go without a definition, if you consider non-righteous anger. Righteous anger is a different story, but destructive anger is something you should be wary of.
Does not keep record of wrong: What about forgiving and forgetting? This is probably a lesson for another day, but to briefly touch on this, where do we set boundaries in this category? Personally, I have been guilty of shutting people out after they hurt me, and I have found it gives no room for dialogue or growth. So what I have learned is that God allowed us to have memories so that we do not make the same mistakes again, but at the same time we should learn to forgive others. Again, this is a discussion for another day.
Does not delight in evil: One word for people like this… prozac. Need I say more? Anyone that takes pleasure in the misfortunes of others needs a psychiatrist.
Rejoices in truth: The problem I always run into here is that I usually find someone who claims being honest is a license to completely destroy another person. I find that these people are being honest, but there is a more LOVING way of going about telling someone bad news. It is not beneficial. Most of these people are hurting people who are hurting people. That, and if we can see someone through Christ’s eyes, we will see through the sin and can not help but love them for who they are.
Protects: stegoi, bear, protect, cover. A few different words are used in different translations here. But to give you an idea, all of these words involve defending and taking care of others.
Trusts: Assured reliance on the character, ability, strength or truth of something. Does this mean that we need to trust in anyone or anything? Not at all! If what we are trusting in is not trustworthy, then we should not do it. The emphasis on reliance of character is important, because there will be people who will come into our life and deceive us, and we must be on guard for those. But if one proves to be trustworthy, we should share our love with them.
Hopes: To cherish a desire with anticipation.
Perseveres: to persist in a state, enterprise, or undertaking in spite of counterinfluences, opposition, or discouragement.
Never Fails: To lose strength, to fade away, to be unsuccessful, to become inadequate. The fact that love never does any of these, what does that tell you about it? It is extremely powerful. So if we are living by love, think about what we are capable of doing.
Agape is the type of love that is used in 1 Corinthians. If you look at what true love is, it is a choice that is made by someone that cannot be satisfied by feelings. I am writing today to challenge you to live a life that is filled with love, and that you make a conscious choice to do so. Love God, love yourself, and from the overflow, love others.
Do you love yourself? Choosing to love ourselves is a difficult subject for many reasons. We have talents, and it is good to recognize what God has given you. The thing is that you have a lot of value to those around you, so it is time that you grasp that and live out of that confidence. Often times people think that if you are confident, then you must be arrogant. As mentioned before, you should never look down on anyone, which is where arrogance comes in. One thing that I tell people is that someone will always be better than you at something, so they can bring something new into your life.
When Jesus said “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mt 22:39), notice he said “as yourself” and not “more than yourself.” I want you to remember that if someone tries to say that they love you and constantly demand sacrifice on your part without sacrificing, they are not loving you. We should give from the overflow that comes from us, and we should never have to give to the point that we are exasperated.
In closing, I would like to give you a litmus test in the Bible that I always go by. It might seem very hokey to some of you, but it works. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, and see how you line up. Instead of saying “love” or “it”, insert your name. It is really interesting to see what happens! I started doing this a few years ago, and it helped me realign the way I look at life. I also switched out those words with people in my life that I questioned, and started finding that there were some lopsided friendships and abusive relationships happening. From there, I confronted the people who were not matching up at all. So that is my challenge to you this week, is to take a hard look at this test and see if the Holy Spirit reveals anything to you. Have a great week, and I hope that you go in the love of the Lord!
