I am hoping that this post does not turn into a rant, because it could actually turn into one =) With that, I am going to start with a qualifier: this is something that has been bothering me for the past few years and I feel that I need to talk about it because I am not quite sure who else will. So if I come off as harsh or convicting, I apologize in advance, but I will do my best not to be condemning.
When Jesus was speaking to the Pharisees, he was speaking to a group of people that would act holy and claim that they had it all together, but in reality they were broken inside. How did he know this? Their words. Read Matthew 12:33-37, Jesus is explains how he knows that they are evil inside.
-A good tree produces good fruit
-From the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks
-Good men bring good things out of the good stored up in him
What is the common denominator here? Words come forth from the heart. So what does this say to us? How are our words impacting others? Are the words we speaking coming from a place to give life to one another or are they taking life away from the person?
When I read this verse a few years ago it really motivated me to consider what I say to people and to be more deliberate about what I say. I found that it went a few different ways. I realized that some of my joking was a bit harsh at times. Not as bad as what I heard from people close to me growing up, but none the less it was not exactly life giving. I was used to being called slurs and other insulting terms that were not true, but when I reacted and tried to talk about it they would say, "It was a joke. Stop being so sensitive." It was not funny and I realized that even though it rubbed off on me a bit, I did not like it and did not want to do it to other people.
Fast forward to today, and I still hear people that think they can get away with it. It may not be a direct insult, but it could be someone telling an embarrassing story or criticizing/joking something that is trivial. Just the other day, I heard someone telling an embarrassing story about me to someone who did not really know me nor needed to know about my embarrassing moment. It did not hurt me, but I could not help but wonder what the heart motive was behind it.
When considering heart motives, another interesting phrase that I hear outside of "I was just joking" is "At least I am being honest." Honesty does not destroy another person, nor does it demean someone. Rude people just need to get that phrase out of their system. Honesty is meant to help guide someone to make better decisions, not make them feel stupid or inadequate. That is what rude honesty does. This is why I feel that sarcasm and rude words do not belong in the church, especially with church leadership.
Unfortunately, I have become less enchanted with the church because of the fruit that many pastors produce. When I hear their words, whether it is in their sermons, in their conversations with me, or watching them interact with their leaders, I have learned a lot about their hearts. I hope that you would take the time as well to consider the fruit that you are eating from your spiritual leaders.
I guess the question that I have to ask is why would you eat rotten fruit? If my "tree" is producing bad fruit, why would anyone want to go to me? I hope that you wouldn't. This is why I have limited the amount of people I spend time with. If we eat good fruit from each other, then everything is fine. But if i am spending my time with negative and condescending people who produce bad fruit, it will make me sick.
In closing, I want to share the last two verses and how they impacted me. Jesus tells the pharisees that they will have to give an account for every careless word they spoke, and it is by their words they will be acquitted or condemned. This stunned me, I know that Jesus was saying this to the Pharisees, but I think it is a sober reminder to me that I need to be careful of what I say.
This taught be two things...
1. This is why I have learned not to talk more than I have to. When I speak more than I have to, I start getting into territory that makes people the butt of my jokes or I say something stupid that gets me in trouble. I have learned to be comfortable with not saying anything and being quiet if I do not have anything meaningful to say.
2. As a Christian leader, what am I if my words bring judgement and death to people? I am no different than the pharisees, and
ultimately I am not doing my job.
That is why I have to spend time with God and spend time in the word to make sure that my heart is in sync with God's heart. I do it because I want to be closer to him and I want to understand him better. Through that, I am able to positively impact others and give words of life to others.
So today, my challenge to you is to take the time to see if your heart needs healing. If you need to change circumstances, do it. I would recommend it because I found that when I engaged life in a way to try and give life to others rather than speaking negatively of others, I found that i felt better about myself and others felt better around me. Lets be a community that builds others up, not tears them down.
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